WHATCHA MEAN I CAN'T SPELL?

Here's an antique Spell that's sure to get yer spirit a crack a lackin'
THE TIME HONORED TRADITION OF SAYING THE LORD'S PRAYER BACKWARDS:
Light a Candle and Repeat after me:

Nema! Livee morf su revilled tub

Noishaytpmet ootni ton suh deel

Suh tshaiga sapsert tath yeth

Vigrawf eu za sesapsert rua suh vigrawf.

Derb ilaid rua yed sith suh vig

Neveh ni si za thre ni

Nud eeb liw eyth

Muck mod-ngik eyth

Main eyth eeb dwohla

hNeveh ni tra chioo

Rertharf Ruo!

As you chant the words, use your imagination to visualize great iron shackles struck off your hands and feet by sizzling bolts of lightning and disintegrating into molten shards to either side of you. Hear the whine and crackle of the searing flashes as they accomplish the work of liberation, and consciously try to feel the burden of all your inherited guilts, all those awful shalt's and shalt not's, all that vast edifice of twaddle and claptrap, sliding easefully from your back.

When all is over, blow out the candle, uttering the words "So mote it be!" Should you feel any frissons of fear creeping up your spine during the performance of what may appear to you palpable blasphemy, it is all to the good. This is a process of purgation and catharsis and often carries with it a certain echo of childhood fears. Don't worry, though; any cold shivers only herald the fact that your deep mind is sitting up and taking notice. It is through your deep mind that you will develop your powers once you have cleared away the litter and debris that usually clogs it, as indeed is generally the case of the ordinary bloke in the street.

DO IT!

LOVE AND DO AS THOU FRUCKKIN WILT!

Jimmy Jo Jo JR. ShabaDOOOM